little fat me

I am taking that book back to the library!

I tried to follow the advice-and I didn't weigh myself for a while. I ended up weighing 146lbs!

OMG!! I cannot believe this. I'm so frustrated. It's like I have to start all over again. Except this time I'm 2 more pounds in the red.

I have set a goal weight #1: 130lbs by September 2nd. That's 16lbs in 45 days. that's .35lbs a day....is that healthy? or doable? I'm not sure. That's 2.48lbs a week.--SO well I guess hoping to be at 135 would be more doable.

I started that class at the Y on Monday. Butts and guts. There are also 2 other classes which I plan on attending next week. One's on Wed, and one's on Friday. So that'll be good.

The thing I need to work on the most is not eating so much. Tomorrow I am not sure what I will eat. But I'm done eating for the day. COMPLETELY DONE! I'm soo full right now! I had the rest of my dinner for breakfast. Some fig newtons for a snack. Then I ate a turkey sandwich and the rest of a bag of pretzels. I need to know how to eat when my stomach is actually hungry and how not to overeat. How to stop when I'm full. And I need to figure out why I'm eating when I'm not hungry.

well i'm kind of ashamed at myself right now. I'm outie.

I hope this will have some turn around. I guess I just need to keep track of stuff. Because when I don't things become out of control.
TTYL
~Arwen

p.s. is there any hope?!?

Weight

140.8...

I forgot to mention I was going to go work out at the Y today- and hopefully sign up for a class that starts next week if I am correct. It's called Butts and Guts-(Hey! The two areas I need to work on!) Plus that'd be one day a week I know I'll get some extra exercise in. I'm looking at my schedule for school and I'm probably going to work out with the "early bird" class on the days I don't have dance class. Maybe take like 2 out of the 3 days of classes. Or hey! Maybe I'll be ambitious enough for 3-making 5 days of exercise a week. If I do decide to take monday or friday off I'll most likely workout on Saturdays-if my schedule allows.

Well-tata. I'll report back at the end of the day.

hello there!

Well here's what I ate yesturday:

raisin bran and milk for b-fast, a cold slooppy joe and carrots for lunch, about 6 pieces of hardy candy from the library, a crystal light raspberry drink, three small pieces of frozen cheese pizza, and then later on that night I had a small bowl of raisin bran. (Man I love raisin bran. lol.)
I don't think I ate too much-the portion sizes were okay-but seriously-I was like instantly physically hungry after I ate. I guess that's a good thing-it's just frustrating-because I want to at least feel like I know I ate something-because so often I just eat so much-because I'm not satisified.

I starting reading a book called "Overcoming Overeating" I haven't read much to far-but it sounds promising.

I haven't decided on my breakfast yet-I was thinking another bowl of raisin bran-(We don't really have much for choices) And I'm not in the mood to make cream of wheat-although I might have that tomorrow.

Lunch: Probably something like some soup-since we have a lot of it in our pantry.

~Arwen

trivial?

so i know to people who read this, my "obsession" as it may come accross...well being over-weight is something I've struggled with for all of my life...I have a serious problem of overeating, and I really want to redirect it so I don't spiral down a bad path.
Plus, being in the best shape is 100% necessary for being an actor. No matter how many times I tell myself this, the realization is still not enough motivation...UGG it is sooo frustrating, plus I'm just really stressed out right now-I am going to have to let some of my friends down, I'm really stressed about job stuff. money stuff, and etc.!

So yeah-this blog helps me think about things.

BMI calc!

if I just think about it...I need to be at least 136 by the end of July, that's completely do able-that's only 141-136=five pounds. I can do it! I can do it! Then august I'll try to lose five-six more pounds-depending how far I get by the end of July, and how hard it is to get to 136. Only five pounds away from not being overweight-and slowly I'll reach my goal weight! I can do this!

an update on a blah day

So I weighed myself today-this morning I was like 139.5. Now, after eating the weird combinations of awful foods-which I will embarassingly share with you, I am 141.6. Blah!! I've been drinking tons of water since the weather is so hot. I went for a 25 min bike ride. I plan on doing some jumping jacks and pushups and abs yet too. So hopefully that will help with the awful I ate this morning. I'm also worried cause I told Becca I'd visit her at work today-sit in her section and try to get my neighbors to go with. Unfortunately, I should have put that in the back of my mind whilst I crammed: the leftovers from last night's pasta and veggies I made, some organice grapenuts with a banana in it (UM! Yeah-I don't think I like them.) Then I ate a hershy's bar (?!?!?!?), some pretzals and mustard, and a piece of frozen cake with some chocolate ice cream. (?!?!?!?!!?). Serioulsly! Can you say binge? It is true that planned out meals are the key to losing weight-because then you don't end up eating like random crap!

And the worst part is: The restaurant is going to have greasy crappy food, maybe I'll order a soup. Man! I really wasted my food intake for the day-cuz I really wanted to make a fresh salad with my greens before they go bad! Now I probably shouldn't eat anything more.

YET! Natalie-one of my roomie'ss-just got back from Peru, so my other roomie Laura baked her a cake!! TEMPTATION is EVERYWHERE! Ugg! I know I must NOT have a piece of that cake. I need to stay on track.especially after a horrible morning.

I'm going to try not to eat any candy at work tomorrow. It's such a tough shift though, but it's right between lunch and dinner, so therefore I should convince myself I don't need to munch on anything out of boredom or such. Well, hmm. I think that's about it.

I don't know how to salvage this horrible day, but I'll try. I have to rescue the skinny me from the layers of fat it is trapped in!!

love,
Arwen

a recap on yesturday and so far today

Hey folks!!

Last night was tough, I had grapenuts and cottage cheese a little after dinner. And Oh my goodness! I wanted Icecream sooo bad. But I didn't have any. However I ate a lot of peppermint candies yesturday so I'm sure that wasn't good. Today I had a granola bar and a yogurt for breakfast: 300 calories. I can't imagine those diets where people have liike 200cal in one day and that's it! I know cutting calories is important in losing weight-but not that much I don't think.
Then after church I had one cookie-oatmeal raisin. I'm proud of myself for juist eating one cookie instead of like 3. Then for a snack/lunch? I had cottage cheese with grapenuts. I was planning on making a salad for lunch, but I'm kind of full from the grapenuts, and I'm just wondering if I should run with that and not havea salad until dinner time. I haven't decided yet...

Hmm! The kay to losing weight, I read in a book, is to plan your meals ahead of time. Well I didn't plan the grapenuts-so that's bad.

Well I'll follow up later.

~Arwen