Because it's gotten out of control

Alright, so I'm not obese. I'm not smuggling hohos and hershy's bars in my bra, (1. because it would me uncomfortable and 2. because i'm not endowed enough to successfully disguise such objects into my 36B.

Without going into too many details, the "skinny" is this. I'm a 5'3" freshman in college. For the past 2 years of my life I've gravitated closley around the 140lbs mark on my $5 scale. I can make no excuses. It is not my body's slow metabolism, or the food corporations doing, or my cheap $5 dollar scale upon which I can blame my 25+lbs of excess on. The reason for my ONE flaw (joke) is my undying devotion to food. All kinds of food stir my fascination with their intracite flavors and textures. So after a couple spoonfuls of ice cream, serveral egg rolls, continually smaller and smaller slices of coffee cake, handful of nuts, three meatballs, three baked chips, some brocolli, and a full belly later, it is probably thanks to my fast metabollism I am not more overweight than I am.

It is the curse of a mindless snacker, snack-snacking myself into a fat existance. And this cannot be!!!! I am so sick of being overweight. And today, it stops.

Yes-I have no self control. But I know I can do this!! I just know I can. I'm almost there. If I can just stick to good eating habits I can be fit and trim.

i CAN DO THIS. I really really want to. I don't make excuses for being overweight! I don't know what else to say. I've just got to get serious. Starting now!!

Food Journal:
So today I have a pear and a half a cookie for breakfast. Yes not a very good start.

For lunch I went to PF Changs with my friend Courtney. I started out with some yummy decafinated ginger spice tea (no sugar of course). I ordered brown rice with my vegetable coconut curry. And also had two pan fried veggie dumplings and some of Court's Chicken fried rice.

I couldn't eat it all. I made sure to fill up with tea before the meal came. I was however full after. It's hard to say to yourself stop! If there's still food in front of you and you're not full. (I'm sure the like one person who actually reads this blog will be like DUH!!! But whatever.)

Then later on, Courtney wanted to go to Coldstone. I purposely left my wallet in the car so I wouldn't get anything. But, when I went in my friend Derek was working. So, I got something. I hadn't had Coldstone in forever!!! It was a small, but still! It waaaaas Coldstone. so BAD ME!!!

About 6:40, we called it quits on the shopping and I went home, where I finished off my Veggies and brown rice for dinner. I was super-de-duper good!! It had tofu in it too, and I love tofu! It was definitely satisfying. Afterwards I was going to maybe have some yogurt, but I thought to myself, "Nah, I'm full enough, I don't need it." So instead I drank a glass of water. And that was it for the rest of the night.

Although I realize I didn't have the best eating habit today, and I totally caved getting coldstone, today was probably my first time feeling hungry since I've been home for break! So I think that's a step in the right direction. I also have been exercising.

The holidays were definitely a step back for me. But that does not mean I should give up entirely. It means I must try harder.

Two Tips I learned today:
1. Never compramise your standards because you don't want to make someone feel bad if you don't eat. That's lame, and if people are that lame to be offended when you turn food down, that's their issue, not yours.

2. Drink as much Calorie free (and preferably FAKE sugar free) liquid as possible while at a restaurant before your meal has come. It will fill you up and you won't eat as much. Even if you feel like you may have-just think, at least you ate less than you would have if you hadn't filled up with water.

Plans For tomorrow and beyond:

I just want to say how excited I am to go back to school. I have changed my meal plan to 7 meals in the caf. instead of 14. This gives me way more flexability and hopefully will prevent me from over eating in the cafeteria. I will be chosing the food that goes into my fridge. Hopefully I can convince my roomate to eat more healthy next semester too, to eliminate all the junk food that glares at me while I'm watching TV.

I will be creating a workout chart-complete with stickers-to motivate me to reach my goal of exercising for five days a week. (Right now it's at the lazy 2-3 mark).

This will be a fit, determined, successful year all around. Let's see what tomorrow brings.